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Boy George Fashion & Make-up Book

April 18, 2005

Boy George Boy George, known for his outrageous, but oh-so-fabulous outfits, hair and eye shadow, was an 80's icon. He and The Culture Club took the decade by storm with such hits as Karma Chameleon, Do You Really Want to Hurt Me? (at times) and Time (Clock of the Heart). Meanwhile, as the record sales mounted, the Boy George fashion craze became big business. Boys and girls...well, mostly girls...wanted to look just like The Boy. There were many imitators; but there was, and is, only one Boy George.

Curious where George is now?

Manhattan Heat The Boy is still heavily involved with music. He dabbles as a club DJ and has written a number of new songs. A track recorded under his alias, The Twin, was featured in a gay porn, Manhattan Heat. "It really sets the mood for the movie, showcasing the beat of the city and the heat of the summer all in one." Uh huh. Well done, Boy.

Even with his continued involvement in the music scene, The Boy is out to prove that he's no one-trick pony. On another front, he hasn't let his infamous fashion sense slip. He recently designed his own clothing collection called B-rude.

Remember kids -- don't do heroin. The Boy comments, "I've always been involved in fashion ever since I was a kid, but this is the first time I've ever tried to do it as a business, I was doing handmade one-offs, decorating and painting and sewing clothes, but now I'm involved in the whole process. When we launched the first collection, everyone thought it would be like Carmen Miranda on roller skates, but it's not; it's tailored and comfortable. We even do sweat pants -- but they're sweat pants with edge."

Alright! I love sweatpants!

Pottery Barn lesbian His aspirations don't stop there. Boy George has also released a new tell-all entitled Straight. (Take a minute to absorb...) The acid-tongued memoir slags everyone from "McDonna" to Rosie O'Donnell, the "Pottery Barn lesbian." Rosie met The Boy's bad side when she prematurely canceled the New York run of his Broadway show, Taboo...after putting up $10 million of her own money to cover costs. How dare she! Come to think of it -- I do see Rosie with a house full of white wicker and sisal rugs... Anyway, in addition calling himself a singer, fashion designer, DJ and author, Boy George is also making a successful go as a bitter queen.

Wham! during the closet years. The Boy has had something to say about nearly everyone floating about the celebrity stratosphere. He has been particularly scathing toward his fellow homosexuals, George Michael and Elton John. Mr. Boy has accused Mr. Michael of hiding his sexual preference during the Andrew Ridgeley / Wham! years solely to appeal to a mainstream audience. George Michael did not publicly reveal his penchant for penis until he was caught with his pants down in a men's rest stop in 1998. The Boy complains that "people saw me as the benchmark queer while George was passing himself off as a straight stud." (Perhaps, George Michael was a straight stud with those who missed the Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go video...the neon hot pants were not subtle.)

Elton and Eminem Boy George has also taken numerous shots at Sir Elton John for various social infractions. He spoke most harshly after Sir Elton sang the duet, Stan, with Eminem at the 2002 Grammy Awards. On account of Eminem's blatant anti-homo lyrics, Boy George cited the move as comparable to singing with Pol Pot. He later called Sir Elton a "humorless dame." Keep the claws where I can see them, ladies. Oh the sting!

Karma Cookbook
In addition to Straight, Boy George has lent his hand to the writing and/or collaboration of several other books published over the years. He penned Take It Like A Man: The Autobiography of Boy George and even published his own macrobiotic recipe collection, Karma Cookbook. Eat your brown rice and vegetables, girls.

Boy George Fashion and Make-up Book The pièce de résistance of the Boy George Library requires us to sashay back in time to the magical year of 1984. AIDS was taking its toll, crack was wreaking urban havoc and The Boy was at the peak of his fame. What better time to put out a long-overdue Boy George Bible? With detailed instructions describing how one might achieve his look, The Boy George Fashion & Make-up Book has it all for the arts-and-crafty young vamp. Hair and make-up step-by-steps, how to sew a caftan, how to be extraordinarily homosexual; copies flew off the shelves as if they had just learned to spread their wings and soar (or not). In addition to eyeliner tips and the proper way to wear waffle-weave knits, the reader gains insight into Boy George's complex psyche through a collection of enlightening quotes sprinkled throughout this high-art tome. Packed with fun photos of The Boy and The Culture Club, this book is essential for any self-respecting fan!

Sure. I was immediately drawn to the make-up sections. Who can pass up the chance to make one's eye shadow "look like a sunburst?" I decided to see how closely I, as an untrained and mostly incompetent make-up "artist," could recreate one of Boy George's many captivating looks. For this, I needed a model. Hmmmmmmm.

I'm no ham. A friend recently complained that he had not been "featured" on SweatPantsErection. I don't make a habit of showcasing particular individuals...plus this is a friend with whom I enjoy a close relationship based on verbal abuse. On any other day, I would have simply told him to fuck off. However, I had just acquired something so wonderful as to not be believed...and could not pass up the opportunity for a willing model.

Congratulations, Craig! (his real name) You are the new face of the Boy George Fashion & Make-up Book!

Let's get our Boy on.

Step One

Foundation/Powder: The foundation is actually white rather than simply pale, giving a more ghostlike effect. Sticks or powders can be used. Any blemishes or shadows under the eyes should be concealed with a good cover-up cream before applying the foundation.
Step One Step One

Step Two

Eyebrows: Using eye liner and brush, paint in large exaggerated eyebrows. Do it slowly, a little at a time, building up the shape as you go. It is thickest at the corner, tapering downwards almost as far as the ear.
Step 2 Step Two
Things started to go horribly wrong early on. I was a little over zealous with the eye brows. The John Wayne Gacy clown-look is not very becoming.

Step Three

Blusher: Apply pink shadow or blusher to outer eye area. Take it down onto the cheek, letting it gradually fade away.
Step Three Step Three Step Three

Step Four

Eyes 1: Outline eyes with black pencil or black eye liner. Remember that the pencil is greasy and needs to be powdered over. Follow eye shape exaggerating inner and outer corners. Line inner eye with black pencil or kohl.

Using dark grey shadow, place a smudge under brow at inner corner, blending it into the pink shadow. If using a brush, don't forget to tap or blow off excess powder before placing the brush on skin or powder will go all over the place.
Step Four Step Four
Like the eyebrows, the eye liner posed a problem for me. Perhaps I have the early signs of Parkinson's Disease...but I couldn't draw a smooth line to save my life.

Step Five

Eyes 2: Apply yellow shadow to lid and brow bone. Make it strong, like a sunburst, also blending it into the pink blusher.

Mascara top and bottom lashes. When dry, comb through to separate lashes. Apply second coat.
Step Five Step Five
My favorite part -- the sunburst of yellow! I can feel the warmth of its rays from here.

Step Six

Lips: Outline lips with dark red pencil, blot and powder. Using a brush, fill in lips with dark red lipstick.
Step Six Step Six
I recommend a pouty shade of purple...like you just got punched.

Let's Hear It for the Boy!

Fucking Gorgeous Fucking Gorgeous
Fucking gorgeous. Truly a work of living art.

Craig, honey, why don't you go wash up...it's been two days now. Don't you think it's time to take the make-up off?

*      *      *     *      *

I'd like to leave you with a final Boy George quotation:

When recently asked "Is nostalgia best avoided?" The Boy responded: I think if you are simply wallowing in nostalgia then yes, it's best not to.

I think that means I'm in trouble. Cheers.

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